A Storybook of Grace

Here’s the tree we picked!  The house is all decorated, the stockings hung, the tree up, the Christmas music playing.  I am praying I can really REALLY focus on the reason for the season.  For the sweet story of our Savior’s birth.  We all need this hope.   We went to Kroll’s Farm to get our tree.  They had some great trees to choose from, however, they were all expensive, but we got one any way and I am enjoying it, as are the kids and the cats!  I chose mostly non-breakable ornaments this year to decorate the tree with!!!   Dad flies back home to Florida today.  Sad to see him go, but enjoyed our time.   xo

 Natalie’s first Thanksgiving!  The turkey cake from Nothing Bundt Cakes was delicious!!!  It was so cute, almost too cute to eat.....ALMOST!  Each turkey feather had a space on the back to write what you are thankful for.  We got the pumpkin spice flavor of cake and it was so good; tasted like pumpkin pie.  We ate, walked, watched football, did crafts, watched Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and enjoyed spending the day together.  

 Do you remember when?   Do you remember when I saved you?  I saved you from sin.  I saved you from a life of drugs and alcohol.  I saved you from partying and guys.  I saved you from continuing to hurt yourself over and over.   Do you remember when I saved you from anxiety and fear and depression and PTSD?  Do you remember when I shone light on the darkness?  When I helped you to see clearly.  When I wanted better for you.  When I wanted you to experience true peace and real joy.   Do you remember when I carried you along?  Or how about when it all worked for good?  When Natalie’s heart was fine.  When she survived even though she had a true knot in her cord.  How you both made it through a rough pregnancy.  Or Lucas.  Do you remember how I spared his life?  Do you remember how sick he was at birth and for the months and months following?  Do you remember how I brought him through two heart surgeries before his first birthday? Or how about how I gave you Sean. Do you remember your hap

 Since this week is Thanksgiving, I thought I would share what I am thankful for.   1.  GOD - remember He sent His son so that we could be set free and be with Him forever.  Ephesians 5:1  For  freedom Christ has  set us free;  stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to  a yoke of  slavery.  We don’t have to have it altogether.  We don’t have to work for His love.  We are worthy and He does love us and He will not leave us or forsake us.  And as we love Him we will want to listen to Him and do His good will for our lives.   2.  My husband!  Love. Of. My. Life. He’s my everything. He has put up with me!  That’s saying a ton!  He is patient, kind, funny, handsome, and smart.  143 NSM 3.  The 8 kiddos.  I love them with all my heart.  They are the most difficult things in my life because it is through them that I am reminded how imperfect and broken I really am!  And they are hard work.  But because of God’s grace and mercy, He has blessed us with them and I wouldn’t  have it any ot

  This morning, like 6:15 in the morning, Sean and I headed off on date with baby Natalie.  We went to Illinois Beach  State Park to see the sunrise.  We sat in the car and drank coffee as we watched the water, the birds, the clouds, and the sun.  It was very peaceful and so beautiful.  After that we went to the Wildberry Cafe for breakfast.  So indoor dining is closed, but they do have a covered tent set up outside with gas lamps.  It’s pretty crazy how we walked through the empty restaurant to go inside a covered tent to eat because no one is allowed to eat indoors yet we go inside to go outside to go inside to eat.  Does anyone else find this a bit crazy??!!  In the tent, tables are not socially distanced and there isn’t the proper HVAC ventilation like in the restaurant.  Oh well.  Any way.  We ate with our coats on and had a good time.  On the way home we stopped off in Wadsworth to go on the trail for a walk.  I really enjoyed my time with my hubby and the baby this morning.  

 I don’t know how it is where you are in the world, but in my little spot things are starting to shut downand restrictions are coming back because of COVID. I know it has been a long year for everyone and I am hoping that we can still all have hope, especially with the holidays upon us.   We get really cold here!!!! Really cold.  So Sean and I have been discussing how we can get creative.  We are still new to the area, only been here a little over a year, so I think we have felt like drive by van sight seeing road trips are going to be in order.  That and snow suits, hats, gloves, scarfs, etc so we can bundle up and get outside.   And praise the Lord we have things like this to love on....... It makes me sad for the kiddos.  I know this is wearing on some of them.  We were still trying to meet people and make friends when COVID came along.  And the friends we had made in our neighborhood, well, their family is moving now.  :(.  The Lord has this.  He has it for all of us.  This was not

  https://www.intouch.org/read/features/through-the-lens-cooks-meadow-yosemite-national-park I wanted to share this article.  It really spoke to me yesterday.  I struggle with my past often and I like to marinate in it for way to long, almost as a form of punishment because I think subconsciously I don’t feel I deserve any better.  I feel guilty when I have good days and when I experience joy.  I think I have to stay in my struggles and can’t have the freedom and victory.  A victim mindset I suppose.   Any way, reading through this article I was thinking how yes I have painful memories that will surface and I can acknowledge them and stay there for a bit, but then I need to get back to the present and focus on moving forward with God because He has new things for me.  Also a good reminder to certainly remember all God has done for me to get me through the difficult stuff of life and that He never left me and that He is continually working on me to conform me to His image.  And this is

We do “weeks” around here, where each child gets their special week, so like right now it is Andrew’s week, but last week it was Hailey’s.  We usually start when it is their first birthday, because right now every week is Natalie’s week!!! During a child’s week, they get to pick things like where to sit in the van, what to watch on TV for the whole group, special food treats, special outings, getting to get out of the van to run errands, special trips if we were to have one and weren’t taking the whole family, etc.  Then, on Wednesday nights, the one who is having their week gets Buddy Time.  So they get a special treat of their choice and then they get to stay up late with mom and dad to do something of their choice like a game or a  movie.  During the child’s week they also get special phone calls/FaceTime with their grandparents.  The purpose is to make each child feel special and to have one/two on one bonding time.  AND to cut down on arguments among the children! Any way I say al

 Ecclesiastes 5:2-3 Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth.  Therefore let your words be few.  For a dream comes with much business and a fool’s voice with many words.  -  how quick I am to talk and say things that I then wonder why I said.  Lord, help me in this area.  Guard my mouth.  The tongue is unruly and words can really hurt.   I am really looking forward to celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas with family.  This has been a hard year for our world.  The togetherness this holiday season will be cherished.  I am also encouraged by the hope I see in people.  People are expectantly waiting for a better 2021.  There is still hope.  There have been many twists and turns in 2020.  Some things have probably changed forever.  And of course people have lost people they love.   Sin should hurt our hearts.  It should break them.  It is because of them that Jesus endured unfathomable pain and suffering

 It’s mildly strange how writing has become therapeutic for me, especially since I am not that fond of it. Or at least I thought I wasn’t.  I still don’t have any idea what I am supposed to do with the book I had started writing.  I am really stuck with why God wanted me to start writing it and when to start back with trying to finish it.  I have taken a break.  In the meantime, this writing seems to help and hopefully someone somewhere on this planet is also blessed by it.   Have you ever tried to have a good day? Like really really tried.  I mean c’mon, it’s Saturday!!!  BUT you don’t.  Things don’t go the right way or how you wanted them to go.  Negative emotions show up and hang around all day.  Moods set in that aren’t pleasant.  Muscles are tense.  Everyone and everything seems to aggravate you.  And you fight it.  You really want to be in a good mood.  And then comes the shame and guilt for having a bad day.  You don’t feel like you’re measuring up.  You’re not being perfect.  Y

 You still love.   You love even when I’m angry.  Angry with my husband or my children.  Angry with the way life is.  Angry with coronavirus.  Angry about missed plans.   You still love even when I am impatient.  Impatient because the kids aren’t listening.  Impatient because things aren’t going the way I would like for them to go.   You still love even when I am disappointed.  Disappointed with our world.  Disappointed with people.  Disappointed with things that didn’t come to pass with Lucas.   You still love even when I am trying to control.  You don’t let me take it all on, even though I may think I am.  I’m not.  You are still in control even when I think I have it all under control.   You love me even when I am not OK.  I am not happy.  I am angry.  I am impatient.  I am irritated and frustrated and losing control and imperfect.   You love me most and chase after me and pursue me when I am in pursuit of something else, of running from you, of trying to fix it on my own.  When I’m

  Happy Monday!  We took the family to the Racine Zoo this past Saturday.  I’ve been told we are experiencing our Indian Summer right now, which means the weather is gorgeous!  All last week we had temps in the 70s and it is continuing today and tomorrow.  I have also been told that this will be the end of our warmth!  And winter is right around the corner!!!!  The zoo is right on Lake Michigan and again I just can’t say enough how pretty it was.  The lake still amazes me at the enormity of it!!!  I can’t get over the fact that it looks more like an ocean and less like a lake.   Today, back to the grind.  Sean is already at work and I am getting some quiet time with the baby.  The house is still and the other kids are still warm and cozy off in dream land.  This does not happen often!  Jessica is usually awake.  I am enjoying my Bible time and my coffee.  We ease back into Mondays so today we do “TV School”, which means as of right now we are watching Adventures in Odyssey, Weird But T

  I’m scared of not having faith because God doesn’t answer the way I want Him to.   I’m scared of being angry with Him.   I’m scared of Him disappointing me.   I’m scared of people.   I’m scared of rejection.   I’m scared of not getting what I want.   I’m scared of confrontations.   I’m scared of failing.   I’m scared of others making me fail.   I’m scared of their behaviors, actions, reactions, and their physical, mental, and emotional selves because how they are effects my response and my thoughts and actions and I feel that is where I then begin to fail, fall short, and sin.   Then, I get angry with that person because I subconsciously   believe they are to blame for me failing.   And on top of that then I believe that God will get mad at me and punish me for the way that I am acting and that further makes me bitter with the person who caused me to sin in the first place.   Shew, this sounds complicated.   And obviously it’s all wrong and really just me blaming others for being who

 We took the kids trick-or-treating yesterday.  We learned last year that they schedule trick-or-treating around here so we had gone on like October 27th from 2-5.  It was different, but it worked out well because it was gorgeous that day, but on Halloween it was snowing.  Where I’m from everyone just went on Halloween.  Any way, this year, it was from 2-5 on Halloween.  People could place signs out that were from the city that state whether or not they were participating in handing out candy or not.  Everyone had to wear masks.  So some houses had the yes! Signs and some had the no! Signs.  The ones that had the yes signs came up with creative COVID-friendly ways to give the kids candy.  We saw one house use a kiddie slide to slide the candy down to kids.  Another house strung a rope across their front yard and taped candy along the rope that the kids could grab.  One house used one of those grabber things on a stick and handed it out that way.  Lots of people had tables set up outsid